I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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