what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
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