He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize