Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Man, jail baloney is awful.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
