I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Randomize
