So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
