But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
