fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I currently don't understand fingers.
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