Already got asked if we're dating
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
