Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
stop calling my apartment porn island.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol