I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.