Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
