In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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