Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Just puked most of my soul out..
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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