I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize