In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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