I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
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