I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Randomize
