this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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