I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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