dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize