we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize