I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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