i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
