forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
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I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
You can't just leave with hair like that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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