names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
