Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
