I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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