don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
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