why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
