if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
