NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
