He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
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trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
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Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize