Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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