I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
