But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
