Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
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