he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
