did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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