checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
