return my video game
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
