If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
