lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Randomize
