Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize