Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
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