i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
