But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
