He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Randomize
