i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
