watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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