I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
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