I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
