I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
