he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
