thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
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