Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
