I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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