he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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