she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
