So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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