don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
