i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize