wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
