I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
