my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize