ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
