Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
