Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I just saw a hot homeless man
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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